I’m starting to assume perhaps some folks forgot how dangerous the unique films really obtained. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III was when the cracks began to point out within the mighty kids’s franchise, indicators that inventive fatigue had set in, or that the onerous work put into the primary two movies weren’t carrying over. The film was dangerous, a lot in order that it disillusioned kids all over the place and even broke up blissful houses. That’s why I’ve been speaking about it so negatively for all these years, attempting to verify folks perceive how dangerous the third film is, however with it celebrating thirty years of existence, I figured it may be a very good time to debate how I’d really attempt to repair this travesty with out altering it fully.
The place do we start? Nicely, the script most likely looks as if crucial factor, however even an exquisite story might be torn aside by these behind the digital camera. Every little thing has to work effectively collectively to some extent and that begins with the director and his crew. On this case, TMNT3 was helmed by Stuart Gilliard, a person principally identified for his work on tv, and there’s a motive for that. After this atrocity, his profession would go proper again to the small display, however his failure right here is probably going as a result of Gillard didn’t got down to make an superior Ninja Turtles film, no, he needed to make his thought of an epic Samurai movie. This didn’t work, and though a number of the technical points had been effective, another person was wanted who had extra of an appreciation for the supply materials, or at the very least the style. For my decide, I’d both go seasoned with Matthew Vaughn (X-Males: First Class, Kick-Ass) or take an opportunity on somebody like Marc Webb (500 Days of Summer season, The Wonderful Spider-Man).
Whereas we’re at it, let’s go forward and swap out the remainder of the crew aside from perhaps the placement scout and cinematographer, as that is the lushest and most colourful TMNT movie out of the originals. I don’t wish to say nobody else cared concerning the mission, however they didn’t even spell Michelangelo’s title appropriately on the finish. The advertising folks may not have been too dangerous, as they did have a Burger King tie-in and it gave youngsters and collectors alike some new motion figures, however the trailers weren’t doing this film any favors. The writing was on the wall, as TMNT III wasn’t even screened for critics and was brutalized upon launch.
On the audio facet, we have to attempt to get the voice actors for the Turtles a bit extra into it and nail these traces somewhat extra. It’s nice to have Corey Feldman again, however Splinter isn’t doing it for me. I do know there’s some controversy round Kevin Conflict, the unique performer, however we are able to discover somebody higher. Whereas we’re at it, let’s drop these whacky sound results, simply to assist the tone a bit extra, that doesn’t imply all of them should go, however most are out. Lastly, the soundtrack is ok. I nonetheless have a replica of the CD sitting on my shelf and folks love some “Tarzan Boy” by Baltimora.
Yet one more factor concerning the presentation, the enormous turtle within the room because it had been, and that’s how the boys had been wanting again then. These costumes want an improve. It’s unhappy that Jim Henson’s Creature Store didn’t return (rumored to be because of cash) and the funds most likely pressured them to decrease the bar extra, however in our reimagining right here, we don’t have issues like that. Because the years handed, the comparisons to the older fits grew to become extra evident, and the dangerous lip actions stood out extra, making these more durable to view. These aren’t the worst-looking variations of the Turtles in live-action, however they’re nonetheless severely missing. If that wasn’t sufficient, take note of how we by no means really see Splinter’s decrease physique, or after we do it’s hidden by material, as a result of they didn’t end it. Now that’s high quality.
So let’s speak concerning the story. Readers are most certainly aware of this plot, however for individuals who aren’t, the film entails April O’Neil (Paige Turco) selecting up an previous vintage Japanese egg timer as a present for Splinter (James Murray) that seems to be an historical scepter that sends her again by time to feudal Japan. When she leaves, Kenshin (Henry/Eidan Hanzei) arrives in her place, each shocked to be in 1603 and 1993 respectively. The Turtles should observe their greatest human pal again in time, however doing this brings 4 different folks, honor guards defending the time scepter ahead, so Casey Jones (Elias Koteas) is introduced in to assist Splinter babysit them. Prior to now, the heroes try and rescue April after which assist the rebels defeat Lord Norinaga (Sab Shimono) and his overseas ally who has all of the weapons, Walker (Stuart Wilson). Couple this with just a few small facet plots and the quartet dropping their solely means dwelling, and we’ve a film, one which most certainly appeared effective on paper.
This story was partially taken from the Mirage run of TMNT, points #46 and #47, however that and the episode of the cartoon the place the 4 brothers return in time are each totally different from the film, even when they had been going for a synergistic cross-media time journey fashion occasion. There was additionally the Turtles in Time arcade recreation, launched in 1991, that may have made for a greater film, however I’d hate to see the funds on that.
As to not deviate from the unique thought of the film an excessive amount of, we go away the time scepter as the large McGuffin for the movie and ignore the comedian, the place it’s introduced into play by a busty ally named Renet, who’s a timestress. In truth, the opening of the movie works, beginning out in 1603 and organising the battle with these characters, permitting Mitsu’s (Vivian Wu) rise up and her relationship with Kenshin to take heart stage for a bit. That is vital, seeing as the unique reduce offers us only a few causes to care about what’s happening or to grasp why combating towards the Daimyo issues a lot. Utilizing this strategy may even, hopefully, give Kenshin a greater introduction after his horse chase than having him angrily reduce down torches.
My plan could be to have April supply her egg timer as a present just for her to nonetheless be despatched again in time, however we don’t swap her with anybody. Let Splinter’s huge second be explaining what he is aware of of the scepter and hinting on the delusion of the Turtles as Japanese legends, kappas. He’s clever, so he’ll have already discovered that the boys have to return in time, as a result of they’ve already completed so, and he doesn’t wish to mess with historical past. Donatello nonetheless will get to do his science stuff on the time scepter and within the meantime, Casey is named, he comes to assist discover April as effectively and perhaps even stows away with the brothers towards their needs, involved for his love. Sending Casey again in time makes the character of Whit extra vital and permits him to show his ancestor about being a very good man and never a traitor, giving Koteas a extra vital function within the movie. This might even get into some Again to the Future-style shenanigans with Casey doubtlessly not being born if he doesn’t set his household line straight.
With the principle characters having extra motive to remain up to now and assist out, we don’t must have them lose the scepter and attempt to make one other one, since they’d notice they will’t make a copy have the identical magical properties (although Michelangelo ought to nonetheless try and cook dinner pizza and discuss opening up a franchise), however relatively lose it when Whit kidnaps Mitsu. All of this collectively ought to assist construct funding within the rise up, the villagers, and towards the dangerous guys.
In between these beats, focus extra on the Romeo and Juliet scenario between Kenshin and Mitsu, how the latter is making an attempt to overthrow his father from the within and the previous isn’t simply combating for love, however for her nation. This leaves Kenshin to should develop up in some methods and notice why his beloved can’t simply run away with him however wants to remain and combat. We will additionally nonetheless have Raphael bond with Yoshi, the younger boy, so the 2 will help one another with their anger points. Raph realizing how a lot he’s grown himself is likely one of the few good character moments within the movie.
The final key story ingredient is to switch the villains. It’s a bit unhappy as a result of I admire each of the actors who play Walker and Norinaga, however there isn’t a lot to them. The comics had an enormous mutant lizard samurai for his or her model of this plot and I can’t assist however really feel we obtained the shaft. When Michelangelo tried to match Walker to Clint Eastwood in that one scene, I spotted this isn’t working as a result of we aren’t given any good causes to really hate or concern them, however making one in all them a mutant or simply displaying them being extra inherently evil. This might additionally assist us keep away from the dangerous results of Walker’s demise scene.
There’s one factor that we completely should steal from the comedian for our ending as a substitute of that pretend out with Mikey. What’ll assist this shaky script it doesn’t matter what is that the folks the nice guys helped overthrow the ruthless Lord have now been educated to defend themselves and can change for the higher for it, studying martial arts and agreeing to by no means let anybody else rule them once more. These folks will kind a brand new group, a clan, The Foot Clan.
Roll these rattling credit!
Maintain the film across the similar runtime, give the Turtles a greater intro and ending that doesn’t contain dancing, have Splinter inform a greater joke, and up the variety of combat scenes because the Turtles can use their weapons once more on this film. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III has the fewest combat scenes of your complete unique trilogy and that must be fastened, we got here to see Ninja Turtles.
This concept isn’t good, however it’s a lot better than what we acquired and I’ve a sense it might be tickling nostalgia bones all these years later as a substitute of smelling of unhappiness and remorse.
